Okay. I’m a 20 year old virgin. I have *blush* been masturbating since like age seven, before I really understood what it was, and then through my teenage years I went through the sexual fantasies with it and what not, and I have been assured by multiple sources that this was all normal and just those raging hormones: here’s the catch.
I now am in counseling for panic disorder. Recently I’ve been experiencing more frequent sexual arousal, many times with no trigger at all.(I’m told this is because of my age?) Then when I masturbate to relieve that sexual tension, I feel totally guilty and slutty even though I no longer have the fantasies and I’m not actually doing anything with a guy! This guilt goes to the point of a full blown panic attack! Can someone help, please?
Is it normal to feel very ashamed/guilty about masturbation/fantasies, or arousal in general? Have any of you girls ever felt this way? And if so, how do you deal with it? I have taken this up in my counseling sessions but I’m hoping for some girl-to-girl input. Thanx.
No rude comments, please. It will just make my anxiety worse.
It’s not like I’m masturbating every day, either. Maybe on average 3 to 4 times a month?
lol to Strawberry Tart. Due to my disorder I cannot have chocolate, caffeine, or ice cream as I am lactose intolerant. My counselor asked what my comfort foods were – when I told her I couldn’t have any of the above she looked me square in the face and said "Gee, I guess you need an orgasm then, huh." I guess it is supposed to make you feel better.
Related posts:
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- Why do girls prefer a guy’s penis to be big when flaccid when it has no effect on sexual stimulation?
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September 2nd, 2009 at 9:16 pm
Masturbation is a natural human instinct, we feel sexual arousal in our bodies, everyone does, its just in our biology. There is a taboo or social "shame" about women doing it. With men, its all they ever talk about, but with women, they don’t talk about it amongst themselves, which at times, can make it feel like you shouldn’t be doing it. You see, it isn’t dirty, its just touching yourself like touching your face or your hair, it isn’t illegal. It doesn’t have any negative side effects and it releases endorphins and reduces stress! and although women don’t talk about it, almost all of them do it too!
It certainly isn’t "wrong" to do. This is why it feels like your body is yearning for it.
Do not feel ashamed that you relieved yourself in any way. Many women do feel ashamed of themselves after the fact, so while it’s normal to feel bad about masturbating. It’s not something you should feel. It’s your body, it’s your emotions and sexual desires that your feeling. No one can tell you exactly what to feel or do and how you should feel about anything you do.
Just relax. Breathe. And have fun.
If you stress to much about the bad that masturbation makes you feel then whenever you do it, you’ll constantly be regretting the decision to fly solo. As well as when you actually do have sex, you may hate it because you’ve already psyched yourself up to think that because you feel masturbation is dirty or shameful, then sex must be too. Do not ruin one of the best things you can do for yourself. Masturbation is a great stress reliever, entertainment source, etc.
My student of mine once told me that "if you weren’t meant to masturbate you wouldn’t have such long arms". So, again relax and have fun. Masturbation is fun, and fine.
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:16 pm
eh….
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:16 pm
Hiya.
if you cut down.
you will feel less guilty.
dont do it as much, and then you will see the good points keeping you under control.
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:16 pm
dont feel slutty you are normal its okay to masturbate some people can feel guilty after.
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:16 pm
Yes, i also feel very ‘guilty’ and ‘dirty’. I hate it but enjoy it at the same time. Im 16 though. keep going with counselling and best of luck at least you know you are not alone xxxxx
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:16 pm
RELAX. Most people masturbate..it’s normal.
I’m 16 and I don’t do it often, but when I do, I feel gross and a bit guilty.
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:16 pm
Yes it is totally normal!!! I promise. I was the same way. One of my friends (i’m 25 and so is she) has never masturbated. And she is well with respect, sexually promiscuous. She thinks its gross? It’s not. Your body is functioning normally! Really more worry would be NO sexual desire!! Talk to your psychiatrist about it.
Better to masturbate than do the sexual act (if your young and/or not ready). What could be part of turning you on, is that you DO think its bad, dirty. Kinda like some people’s fantasies. If you can make yourself believe it’s not, you probably won’t be inclined to do it as much. Its like we want what we can’t have or do… ya know.
AND when you do get older and ready to have sexual experiences TRUST ME your boyfriend/husband will think it ROCKS that you are very sexual and in tune with your body. Cuz you’ll be able to know what you like and want them to do. Since I started masturbating, I actually have more orgasms with my partners! Isn’t that crazy! Now i’m not saying go and have sex. Like i said before, it’s better to masterbate then risk getting a STD or pregnant, etc.
And I’m not down playing your stress, cuz trust me I know how you feel. I was stressed about it when i was young too. But you’ll probably laugh about this with your girlfriends down the road.
You shouldn’t feel ashamed AT ALL. All i read in your question was a TOTALLY NORMAL, HEALTHY GIRL!!
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:16 pm
it’s normal to feel ‘unpleasent’ or ‘dirty’ when you masturbate, but like you, i’ve been doing it for a while, i must admit, i’m not a virgin but i still love the feeling of making myself ‘come’, i can’t exactly relate to your guilt, because you’ve not actually done anything to make yourself worried about it, it’s completely natural to feel aroused for the smallest reason, and some women just masturbate for the complete fun of it! many women (although don’t admit to it) do have fantasies, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, because once again it’s completely natural, we’re women, we’re allowed to get like that! unlike some men, it’s not completely pointless to ‘get yourself off’ apart from the feeling, it’s, like you said, releasing sexual tension. I could relate to the being ashamed about my fantasies, although one of them has been acted out, so it’s not that bad. raging hormones are normal in a person your age, as you’ve not been sexually penatrated by a man, i’m not saying you should, but if or when you feel ready, it might be an idea to invest in a vibrator or dildo, as this can help, or even an ”egg” these are discreet so you can satisfy yourself in awkward places.
i hope this helps
kay x
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:16 pm
As long as you are private, there is no reason to feel ashamed or guilty. And no reason to have a panic attack. Do you still live at home? Are you worried of someone walking in on you or mom knocking on the door? this could be part of your anxiety. Fantasies are normal, unless they interfere with real relationships- then they become a problem. Are you in new meds for your panic attacks? They could be causing increased serotonin uptake -resulting in arousal (ask your Dr.).
The key to anxiety or panic attacks is understanding your "triggers" and changing your reaction to those triggers. Like, my husband panics in glassed elevators- so, if we have to use one-he knows to stand facing the door or button panel-take a deep breath- and we are at the floor before you know it- Good Luck–
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:16 pm
sometimes especially when i was under 16, and just started doing it, it would feel good but as soon as it was over i would feel abit embarrassed/ guilty. but don’t worry there is’nt anything for you to feel guilty about. are you worrying someone will catch you? or are you just screaming for sex??
i would just say keep up the counceling and get to the bottom of your problems but a but of slef lovin can only make you feel better right?