Im 20yr old girl.. ive been with my husband for 1 1/2yrs and we just got married a few weeks ago. I am very attracted to him and i want nobody else.. but here’s my problem. When we get to getting intimate, I just lose it. Im not sure wat it is, i still want to do it and i still want to be with him but i just lose it u know… its weird.
and wen i dont lose it.. he starts doin things but i jus cant focus or somthin. its not that i am thinkin of other things but i jus cant feel anything. i am still in the mood n want 2 keep goin but i jus cant enjoy it much.
im not on any medications.. im not depressed. I used to b when was a teenager but im actualy happy now. im not stressed out. its honestly like nothin is wrong, except for this.
please help me. i dont know what to do. im starting to think that there is somthing very wrong with me sexually or with my health.
ohh and hes been my first and only guy.
thank u in advance =}
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January 17th, 2010 at 7:36 am
hes probably doing something wrong… let him know exactly what you want and it should be better. OR MAYBE YOU ARE A FREAK but probably not just do the first thing i said.
January 17th, 2010 at 7:36 am
wow this sucks. At least you are not in my shoes. I cant have sex at all…. my boyfriend tore my vagina… and now I need surgery.. anyways this is abut you. You should buy some toys, They might make you feel a lot better! There are different kinds of sex stores. If this doesn’t work then I suggest you guys go to a sex therapist. I heard they help a lot.
January 17th, 2010 at 7:36 am
u jst need to relax nd focus …nd y dnt u go to a dctr for a cmplete checkup…
January 17th, 2010 at 7:36 am
i know this sounds weird but you may want to consider a sex psychologist. I know it seems early, but you don’t want your marriage to fail because of sex issues. It could be though that you’re stressed SUBCONSCIOUSLY. You just got married and you still probably are adjusting to this lifestyle which could throw your sex drive out of whack. One thing you can try is watching porn. I know that sounds gross to some, but i can be a turn on for a lot of people. Maybe you need to discuss these issues with your hubby so he isn’t left out in the cold wondering what is going on. Maybe he can suggest some things or ideas to help.
January 17th, 2010 at 7:36 am
you got married, and now your jsut getting a bit scared, try talking to him about it
January 17th, 2010 at 7:36 am
This situation isn’t entirely unusual at age 20 but definitely isn’t normal, as you well know…
Altho most will disagree, your marital sex life represents about 98% of your marital success and that will never happen if one of you is "cold"…
It’s quite obvious you have a chemical embalance and not the proverbial dysfunction that so many believe of…
It is necessary that you take this problem to your GYN to run some tests in order to prescribe what is necessary to return balance to your system…
Doing so does not mean you will be on meds for life as this may be only a temporary situation. Your body still has about another five growing years ahead and more changes are sure to occur…
I would also suggest you do not delay seeing your GYN. It’s obvious you are still sharing your intimacy with love for your husband but if your response is only movement and this chemical embalance is not producing lubrication then the membranes of your vaginal wall will deteriorate and intercourse will become painful. Should that happen then you really will be suffering dysfunction…
Good luck…
January 17th, 2010 at 7:36 am
If there is nothing in your past that you know about that could be blocking your desire…
Then you could be over-thinking it. Sometimes you want so badly to enjoy the person and give them what you want that you lose your spark and it all becomes motion without purpose. Happens even to those of us who are experienced.
Try and make sure you are relaxed, don’t have a goal, not in any way. Just think, ‘It will be nice to enjoy my husband’ and let things go the way they go. Concentration will kill the libido more than anything really. Also make sure you are not forcing the mood. You say you are in it but cannot feel anything…that doesn’t to me read in the mood.
I hate to say this but could be on his side too. Maybe he is not Mr. Adept at sex and is not doing what you need to keep you motivated and in the moment. Before you say no, remember, you have no comparison to measure that by. But, see if you can guide him more to what you need, sex is for two not one. That would be masturbation!
Work together and I bet you will be able to locate the source, be it length of the session, bad timing to change up, whatever. There are a myriad of things it could be. If you exhaust that and get nowhere, then perhaps seek professional intervention.
Probably nothing wrong with you other than you haven’t had much experience at this sort of thing. Be confident!! And if you feel ok, you could even explore books and such, see what they hold inside for you two to try!
Good luck, and remember, it’s the journey, not the destination!