I’m a female and I take an antidepressant. It has done a WORLD of good for me. I feel good emotionally and physically, I have lost 40 lbs and I have newfound self esteem. But my sexual function is greatly reduced when I do have some, but the majority of the time I have no sexual drive or response at all. Now I feel all sociable and want to find a boyfriend, but won’t I just lose him when he finds out about my sexual problems anyway? I may have to stay on this drug long term. How do I deal with this?
It’s kind of hard to "fake" not getting wet AT ALL. yeah you can use lube, but it’s not like he’s not gonna notice you’re dry.
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December 16th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
It’s very common. You need to talk to you psychiatrist about this, they can help. I understand how you feel because i have been on many of drugs that make me have no sex drive.
Yes you should still seek a boyfriend. You may find that you have a sexual desire if you meet someone you really like, you may not be able to have the greatest intimate moments with him because of the medication, but you may find that you might not have the problem be as big of deal as you think…
December 16th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
unlike a guy, if he’s not in the mood, he can’t fake it… you can fake it…. just lay there…
December 16th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
You might find a guy in the same situation
December 16th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
use some products which’s smeel increase sexual egarness/
December 16th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Find the right boyfriend, and all those "problems" will go away !
December 16th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Its okay if you have to stay on that drug. A REAL guy will like you for who you are, they’ll love you for all your flaws. NEVER think you arent good enough for any guy. Yeah, it may be hard to find someone who can accept that but like I said before a REAL guy will accept you. Dont rush into things either.
December 16th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
That is the ONE horrible downside of antidepressants. It will start to increase, I promise. Every time I change my meds or up my dosage… the same thing happens to me. Eventually it will start to return. I just couldn’t "go"… but I still enjoyed the sex.
December 16th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Talk to you gyno. There are different antidepressants you can try, or, since you’ve found some that work well, there are sexual stimulants as well. Good luck.
December 16th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Sometimes there are alternatives to antidepressants that don’t have that side effect. Have you spoken to your Doctor about that?? Maybe there is one that is just as effective, but doesn’t have those side effects. If not, I would still talk to my Doctor about this problem… he/she may have some good answers for you. I’m very happy you are doing better and feel good about yourself… good for you!!!!
December 16th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
If you find someone and they really like you back, then you don’t have to worry about your problem…the right guy for you will understand the good the antidepressant does for you and not care that you’re not always aroused and ready for sex. He’ll be patient and understanding and caring…that’s the kind of guy you need to find. You can find a guy and get to know him without jumping in the sack with him on the first date. If you take the time to get to know someone, your sexual problem won’t even feel like an issue. Good luck!
December 16th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
That is a VERY serious problem. Do not underestimate it.
ANY guy you hook up with eventually expects to do ‘that’ with a girlfriend.
Understanding and talks WILL NOT DO. He can’t put his feelings on hold. If you make him say that he ‘understands’, it means he understands it for now – and expects it to change.
NO guy will hook up with you for life on these terms.
If you ignore that, you are heading for lots of tears, accusations and the inevitable breakups. That won’t do a lot of good for your depression.
Try to see what happens if you decrease the medication a little bit – like shaving off 1/4 off of every second dosage for instance.
See if you can do with less, because the doses are simply standard doses, for the vanilla man or woman.
If it goes well, your libido might explode and you keep the positive benefits of the antidepressants.
I can tell you more but you’ll have to email/msg me then.
December 16th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
I hope that you have an open relationship with your doctor so that you can discuss this. It is so common, and there are ways to improve your response. Also, like most things, making love gets better with practice. Lots of women don’t like it at first, and then grow to like it. You think you are unresponsive, but in reality you may not be very different from most other women. A guy may not really notice all that much difference between you and other women he has known.
In the meantime, try moderate aerobic exercise and some over-the-counter aids. There are various things you can use that are perfectly hygienic and safe, including warming lubricants, massage aids, and kits for doing Kegel exercises.
I would not let this keep me from meeting someone. Since you don’t feel highly responsive, maybe this is the perfect time. This way, you will get to know him better as a person, without being tempted to get to know him physically too soon. That is the best thing to do anyway, so why feel like you should keep to yourself because of this small issue?