I asked this already but I don’t think I explained myself properly.
Let me clear up a few things first.
I was not pressured in to sex – he as also been doing his best to try to make this better and I am properly aroused before we start.
I lost my virginity last week and we have subsequently had sex four times.
The first two times it was painful, not overly painful but uncomfortable which I attributed to me being new to penetrative sex. I have this problem with his penis, his fingers, my fingers as well.
It didn’t feel bad, it didn’t feel good. It basically felt blah. I could feel the pressure of his penis moving in and out of me, just I would the feel the pressure of someone rubbing their hands over mine, but it wasn’t pleasurable.
The third time it still felt a bit ‘numb’ for lack of a better word but almost as if it was fighting to feel good. The fourth time, the only time I felt any sort o sensation was in the start when I felt a bit of pain but after that no sensation.
I’m not talking about an inability to orgasm, I am talking about an inability to feel pleasure from penetrative sex at all. So far in addition to like fingering and oral sex and whatnot before penetration, he rubs himself against my clitoris which is always a sure fire way for me to orgasm but it still distressing because, I mean I could probably read a book while he’s going at it, it is that pleasure-less. He is average size and he is gentle and willing to hold out as long as possible to try to make it feel good for me. So I’m left to wonder if the problem might be me. It’s a bit depressing as he feels bad that he’s not able to bring me pleasure.
.
Any thoughts?
I am not referring to orgasms at all. I am very familiar with the notion that most women do not orgasm from penetrative sex alone, what I’m finding it hard to reconcile with is the fact that I do not feel ANYTHING. It is a bit scary.
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February 14th, 2010 at 7:54 pm
about 60 to 70% of women cannot orgasm during intercourse……..it is recommended to try different positions……..
This sounds like u may need a more thourough check up because numbness of any kind is usually neurological……….or hormonal in origin,
So, if you can see a hormone expert and test those, then if you must , see a neurologist who will probably find nothing………
and just make you waith until it gets worse so they can diagnose it……..
I would try hormone testing first…….see below
February 14th, 2010 at 7:54 pm
trying doing it different ways
February 14th, 2010 at 7:54 pm
I wondered the same ting when I first started having sex. I think it was about a month before I had my first orgasm, it can take time to figure out the best position to get pleasure, you should try different positions and even in the missionary position I find that rotating my hips up a little or a lot( sometimes he will put my legs over his arms or shoulders) helps tremendously. Also while he is in you he can still rub himself against your clit to stimulate you.
Don’t stress too much about it, it makes it more difficult, just relax and experiment.
February 14th, 2010 at 7:54 pm
"I’m not talking about an inability to orgasm, I am talking about an inability to feel pleasure from penetrative sex at all."
There is NOTHING wrong with you. The majority of women cannot orgasm from simple penetrative sex… we just don’t have enough nerves inside the vagina for it to give enough pleasure (And for good reason too! Can you imagine childbirth if you were that sensitive inside?)
Usually women use penetration to "augment" their pleasure, not to be the sole providing factor. The first thing you should try doing is using positions where either you or your partner can stimulate the clitoris. Nipple play, kissing, nibbling, teasing or other things can help your enjoyment so you don’t feel bored. If you have some fun fantasies you like to think about, you can use those to keep yourself amused and aroused. You can alternate oral, penetrative and manual stimulation so you both get enjoyment.
You can also experiment and see if you have any internal spots that DO feel good – some women have what is usually called a g-spot, which is located on the front wall, "behind" the clitoris. (Speculation is that it’s the underside of the nerve bundle that make up the clitoris. Some women like stimulation here, some find it makes them have to pee, some find it’s painful and some feel nothing… it’s worth experimenting!)
When it gets down to it, you probably aren’t ever going to have fun just laying there being pounded. Of course, you don’t always have to be super-stimulated either – you can take it slow and play around and have fun – but if you’re bored during sex than something needs to change!