My gf says she’s incapable of having an orgasm. We’ve only been together for a shortest time (a little over a month), and I’m a virgin… so we’ve only gotten so far. However, I’m determined to make her completely enjoy the sexual experience in its entirety.
So….
I’m wondering, what is more intense for you, your partner’s stimulation (cullingus/etc), or your own (with/without toys). Also, which is more enjoyable, and, what sorts of intensity are favorable?
Explanation would be appreciated.
Thanks to all in advance.
examples of an answers I’m not looking for:
"practice my friend that is what you need"
"communicate with her, etc"
these are obvious answers.
Also, she is not a virgin. only I am.
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February 28th, 2010 at 6:09 am
First off, all women are different. Some can only orgasm alone, some only with their man. Some hate clitoral stimulation, some can’t orgasm without it. You have to explore her to find her happy points… and they all don’t have to involve the genitals. Kiss her in lots of different places, like her neck, her back, her stomach, her legs. Run your hands over her lightly, everywhere. When you touch her ‘down-there’ (not sure of the Yahoo standard for body parts, sorry lol), try lots of different speeds, places and rythyms. Pay close attention to her face and her vocal expressions when you explore, these will tell you what she liked and what she didn’t.
She may not be comfortable with toys, so you’ll ahve to ask her about it before whipping out a vibrator.
Don’t make every make out session about her orgasming (I mean, you can be all about it, just in your head… don’t let her know, it puts too much pressure on her, and if she’s worried about not coming anyway, its just all way too much and her orgasm will never happen…).
Having been in this almsot exact same boat before (my fiance was a virgin when I met him and I was convinced I was not able to orgasm), I can tell you some stuff that happened with us to make it ‘happen’. I never had a caring, gentle lover before my fiance, and his gentleness and cherishing of my body (don’t laugh, it works) was the doorway to me enjoying myself in the first place, which is a hop skip and jump from orgasm. Perhaps she’s the same? Also, we took a lot of time to NOT focus on orgasm, we just enjoyed each other, got comfortable together and learnt about what felt good. Now I have multiple orgasms… Which is amazing especially considering that I thought I was totally incapable of it at all!
To sum it up: be gentle, don’t make orgasming the be all and end all, explore her extensively, and take notes if you have to of what makes her moan or breathe funny lol. Let her get comfortable with you, and you’ll find it a lot easier.
Good luck dude
February 28th, 2010 at 6:09 am
practice my friend that is what you need
February 28th, 2010 at 6:09 am
well buddy i personally prefer my man!!! and the inttensity cant be created it just happens ull understand when u do it but jus do ur best im rooting for u
February 28th, 2010 at 6:09 am
personally my partner stimulating me !!! but sex is great she doesnt know what she missing but there again it only good if you are both ready for that step
February 28th, 2010 at 6:09 am
I can tell you this for certain, every woman is different. And the best way to learn to please one, is to get to know her. Try everything, learn what she likes, and for god sake, pay attention to her, somtimes the signs are subtle.
February 28th, 2010 at 6:09 am
Try with your fingers..Give her a nice s..k….
February 28th, 2010 at 6:09 am
First of all it is not your duty to cure her sexual dysfunction. Partner stimulation will only work if she is comfortable with you.
May I suggest you work on your non sexual relationship with her.
February 28th, 2010 at 6:09 am
it depends on the partner really… the best thing to do as a couple is explore find what feels good, what works, spend time on her, foreplay is a great way to get her stimulated and prepared for an orgasm… but on her end, it takes time and experience to learn how to position your pelvis to have a good orgasm, she will learn how her own body works with time and you just have to experement with her, if she likes toys use those too, and never be afraid to give her a little oral stimulation if she can’t achieve an orgasm by way of intercourse
February 28th, 2010 at 6:09 am
It depends on the partner…find out what is exciting/stimulating to her. Then go from there…I agree with the other poster…