I married my current husband 2 weeks after a painful divorce. His religious beliefs would not allow us to live together or have sex before marriage. He was a virgin. Our wedding night was uneventful. I found out he has erectile dysfunction. Meds rarely work. We managed to concieve 2 children, but on the limp side of things. We’ve been married almost 4 years. I love him, but I am a young sexual person who has a marriage w/o intimacy. Although I tried to teach him he never learned how to kiss or touch me. MY first husband was gorgeous, young, and a great lover who thought he was gods gift to women, so I decided looks weren’t everything when I married my current unattractive husband. I’m a pretty girl and I feel as though I’m missing out on something important. MY husband is a good man who treats me well, I love him but is this enough to sustain our marriage?
I don’t believe in affairs. His E.D. is caused by an enlarged prostate; We’ve seen several doctors, this isn’t a psy problem. (I’m a Med student) My fustration is that he is not working with me to create intimacy in our marriage. It just isn’t important to him. This topic comes up in our marriage often, but we don’t reach a solution.
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January 24th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
You are pretty dumb.
You married the first guy because he was young and virile and you married the second one two weeks after your divorce????
Im glad you are exposing yourself to the world in this public manner so that we can see that, in general, women are the cause for shattered marriages.
You were not designed to be married. Get a divorce and move on.
January 24th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
ya thats enough but sooner or later he will bang the crap out of your vagina!!! HAHAAHA
January 24th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
I think counseling would be very helpful to both of you. Start together with a marriage counselor and maybe your husband will be able to get past his guilt feelings so he can enjoy sex and the proble will take care of itself. If that’s not enough, there are sex therapists to guide people with these problems. If you love him, it should be worth the time and energy to make your sex life special. Best of luck to you both.
January 24th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
i think you need to find out what exactly this erectile dysfuntion mean. today , there are many ways to correct this problem your husband has. should consult a doctor and perhaps specialist about the situation.
January 24th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
I believe that marriage and sex do go together but sex is not the only part of a marriage. When you love someone, then you don’t look at them as a sex object and when you love someone that much, they certainly aren’t ‘unattractive’. Just my opinion.
January 24th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
You should talk to him. Tell him how you feel and how horny you are. There are MANY ways to enjoy sex without an erection. Regardless of how much you love him, if he isn’t satisfying your sexual needs you will resent him sooner or later. Do something about it now before that happens.
January 24th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
That was good thinking, do you also buy a car without taking a test drive too? Some guy told you he didnt believe in sex before marriage and you fell for this line? No chance he might have been lying because of his limp noodle weenie?
WHAT TO DO NOW THAT YOU F’ED UP:
1. Find a hot young stud that you feel is on a par with your stellar beauty and sexiness and keep him on the side.
2. Leave, sue for divorce and child support claiming that you were misled and your hubby didnt tell you his flag pole wouldnt stand at attention. Then with his money rolling in, get a few different guys to take care of business. When the money runs out, repeat with another "not so attractive but has money" guy.
Hmmm which way will you go on this?
January 24th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
Buy some sexy lingerie, cokk rings, do all sorts of kinky stuff. Get him viagra and maybe he short consider some sort of prostate surgery. Honestly im not sure how the prostate would affect sex that much unless it is uncomfortabe. Have you tried any of the drugs out there, they should help big time. I know they may have side effects but they are worth it for the sex, if he doesnt want to take them slip them in is drink.
January 24th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
To tellyou the truth, your problem can really be summed up by on of the first sentences in your question. …"His religious beliefs would not allow us to live together or have sex before marriage" When you say "His" beliefs, it means that "your" beliefs and "his" beliefs must be at complete different ends of the spectrum. It is hard to expect two people to be able to truely love each other, and commit their lives to being together, if your most basic beliefs are so different
January 24th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
Sounds like he’s doing good –you guys concieved two kids!
Enjoy the sex when you can —be good parents to those kids and find other ways to "enjoy" each other…As for the kissing and touching – keep at it , practice makes perfect — use your experience to achieve the reponses you want —
January 24th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
Sometimes our own convictions and values do not agree
It is no pride but sure euphoric.
with our mates philosophy and ethics. If your divorce was painful you must have been terribly hurt. Sorry to hear of the deception by Mr Romantic. Mr Romantic (spouse no 1), had a huge ego perhaps because you also made him feel great after a romantic evening. Could Mr ethical number 2 have decieved you? What a coincidence to say no sex until marriage because of relegious beliefs. You believed him. Sometimes a man has a dysfunction after not having sex for years. He would rather pull it himself. The reason is his period of isolated years. You do agree he did not have many relationships either looks, or whatever. Even some guys need a hand to finish off the sexual session. As far as yourself I am sure you dread divorce number 2 because of your values, and also some extreme deviations from handsome to well not so handsome. Your good morality will get you through it. Plus fear not, some soul mates were found by the time partner number 4! was reached
January 24th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
I think you married this man for a reason and love isnt sex. Your young wild with 2 kids. Light some candles play some soft music and see what happens. Set a mood to be in the mood. Sex isnt just intercourse you can do oral or buy a vibrator and have him use it on you. Make him involved with sex toys with you. You will enjoy it get what you need and he is right there to be where you want him.